I guess I had forgotten about the key answer that I needed


Dallas, Texas

I am going to repeat this sentence again and again that I, for no reasons at all, had acted bizarrely and went to visit two guys whom I had only ever watched on Youtube.

It had been ten years since their last appearance on the screen, but I somehow knew where they were living at that moment, strangely.

Upon arriving there, I found the door unlocked and the inside of the apartment dark. There were no people but only envelopes of past test papers and certificates of scholarship merits on the table. With the light coming through the opened front door, I figured out that those papers were Singapore’s A level past papers and they had got the key answers with them too.

And like a creepy stalker (I did know where they lived after all), I took all those papers with me and left. I suppose, I still couldn’t get the previous hellish Singapore’s UEEs out of my head.

After exiting the apartment, I searched through the papers and found that I didn’t have the key answers for Humanities past paper (yup) so I decided to visit the apartment again to ask the tenants about it on another day. Like the fact that I had barged into their apartment was nothing! Yeah!

That other day when I visited them again, they wondered why I had come to look for them, yet they didn’t look perturbed knowing that I had stolen their papers from their apartment at all – and for knowing where they lived

but we became friends despite the odds. Because this was my dream.

The one that was fatter was very kind and mother-like. He was very “fond” towards children and there was this one time when I found him and a little girl playing with the books and the figurines, occasionally playing tag before realisation hit me and I saw him doing something that showed how “fond” he was towards children.

Yet, I calmly accepted that fact and understood. He was very smart, by the way – he invented a potion to shrink him and revitalise his age so that he could play with the kids. That was one hell of dedication.

The other guy… he looked like Ryan Higa – and I have no better description to his appearance. But he didn’t look exactly like Ryan Higa. Well, he was asian, so there was those eastern people’s complexion. Anyway, he was fun and outgoing like Ryan Higa so I found myself talking to him most of the times and because the other guy was busy with his chemistry experiment, I got much closer to the ryanhiga-alike.

In Dallas, they often visited a childcare centre or sort of although the only one that had purposes there was the fat guy. But since I decided to tag along them in this strange series of imaginations that was my dream, I joined the 20-minute trip to the said childcare centre and kept the ryanhiga-alike company.

Therefore, while the fat guy had to finish his daily “social service” routine, I and the other guy stayed outside in the souvenir shop.


The souvenir shop was not so spacious but it was cozy and cute-looking. There were trinkets around the small space and they made the shop emit vintage ambience — it felt like being in a magician’s workshop. There, in a small space in the centre, I was sitting criss-cross on the floor with him. And you know what, spending time with him had made me forget about the A-levels, school’s crappy stuff,

annoying gadflies… I felt really relaxed and indifferent.

The world that came through his mouth was vast, his fantasy about an imaginary dimension almost felt like it was real.

And I got lost in them. I got lost in him.


One day, in their apartment, I asked them about how long they had been in Dallas before proceeding to ask the ryanhiga-alike about his age. In reply to the latter, he explained a complicated answer like babbling incoherently until I shushed him saying that, “I understand, so your age is….”

24. The ryanhiga-alike was 24 and I laughed about that, somewhat hysterically. They looked at me weirdly before laughing together with me and making remarks on how I laughed about something so trivial for no reason at all.


There was also this one time in the souvenir shop, when I found a marble soap tray on one of the vintage wood shelves and upon coming across that, I suddenly exclaimed,

“You guys had something like this in your previous apartment too, right?!”

“Yeah..” the lankier one replied, continued by the fat one before they got into a small argument that I could never remember. Seeing how I might have brought up something sensitive, I continued exclaiming,

“What is it called again?” I asked, rummaging through my lexicon for the correct term.

“A-ah! Yes, soap tray!” I answered my own question with such astonishment, looking at the said soap tray in amazement.

“I remember noticing this soap tray somewhere in one of your old videos,” that came out from my mouth out of the blue but to be honest, there is no such thing as a marble soap tray in their videos in real life. Until now, I wonder why I said something like that in this strange dream.

“Amazing. You even noticed such detail. What are you? You have super sight?”


At least that could stop the argument.


All in all, that was what had been going on between me and the duo, me and the ryanhiga-alike, two people whose names I never got to know — playing in their apartment, going to the childcare centre, casually flirting with each other in the souvenir shop, getting hyped towards every single cute trinkets we found in the shop..

Until one day, I just felt depressed over something that I couldn’t remember, spinning on my butt with legs raised in the air. The ryanhiga-alike only looked at me in amusement, sitting on the floor besides me as usual, before asking me,

“What are you doing?”

“Just looking at the glass display case…” I replied unsurely, because that was not the thing I had been doing and then he went off, standing on his feet and looking at the nearby trinkets on the display shelves. Not getting any remarks back, I continued spinning on my butt again with my head inside my skirt this time (I was wearing a skirt).

When I was done, he suddenly said, “That doesn’t look like looking at the glass display case.”

Hearing him suddenly spoke caught me by surprise and he just chuckled at me trying to explain the awkward situation and position I had been in but I just failed and stuttered badly.

Then I realised something.

I don’t know since when but I just suddenly found ourselves holding each other’s arms and his face had become so close to mine that I just..


kissed him

It felt weird – I felt something plump on my lips and it seemed that he wanted to return it but failed as I was being too stiff so he could only broke the kiss and laughed.

Embarrassed, I told him that I had never done it and in reply he asked me to do it again, hinting me to pucker my lips more this time.

But the kiss became sloppier and we made cringey noises and for a moment I was wondering if the shopkeeper lady was okay with that.

I was the one who broke the kiss this time and..

..the dream vividly stopped there.


Disclaimer: I don’t own the pictures.

A/N: Fuck it. Yup! I wrote about my dream again. I don’t know why perhaps because I shared my first kiss in this dream. But strangely, I never knew their names, and those two guys actually were those chinese boys who did lip-syncing on Youtube long ago.

And strangely, I only watched their video once! But they appeared in my dream and turned into a fat pedophile and a ryanhiga-alike. Also, Singapore A-levels past papers appeared in my dream like wtf, was I that stressed after my UEEs?

Anyway I couldn’t proceed after waking up to stop my alarm. It didn’t help as my sister flipped around and slapped her hair on my face.My other alarms went on ringing afterwards until I decided to give up on returning to the dreamland and just wrote about it on my notebook of my muses.

What made me depressed after waking up was the fact that I couldn’t be like the other girls and I thought that perhaps I would just be a disappointment to anyone being in a relationship with me. And I suppose the sole reason I desperately wanted to return to that dream was because I wanted- no, I needed to listen whatever consolation the ryanhiga-alike would say to me about my worry and depression.


But anyway, that was my first kiss.. I guess. Ugghh.. I failed miserably in making a weird story into a good fiction-like story. It came out forced. AAAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK WITH THE PAST TEST PAPERS JUST WTF!?!









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